New year, new leaf

Hello peeps!

It took me a long-year hiatus to come back to the game. Haha but who's to say this time I stopped again. Oh my commitment TT__TT

Oh well,

So in Malaysia, today is already New Year. In my life, I take new years seriously not because of its celebration with the fireworks and stuffs, it's because I often start a new journal that means everything that I've written in the previous one is closed and archived deep under my bed. It's almost like being reborn with a new chance! Although, I realized that restarting my life every year doesn't take away my previous self from everyone else around me, but since 2018, I have stopped caring about people that much. So for whatever it is, I am resetting my life!

So 2020 makes me 22 years old which means that I am a grown up with responsibilities of my own. I am also almost 100% in charge of my own life. But I am still broke tho.

Yesterday, I was going thru my old journals and I found something interesting, of course I am not going to show it here but it was something that made me laugh and cry and smile all at the same time! I have been writing in diaries since 2013 and in every single one of them, there are 2-page spread about how I want my 2020 to be like! It is funny how my 13 to 21 year self plan to progress my life. As time goes by, I realized that some of the unrealistic ones I have deleted from the list but it's funny how some things stuck hahaha. This discovery led to my post today, my new leaves.

For this year, instead of making new resolutions, I decided to compile all my previous resolutions and I intend to keep track and tick off how many ambitions my children-self wrote from a decade ago!

The forever chart-topping ambition of mine since I was 13 *drumroll*

#1 To get married

I don't know what is it with marriage and I don't even know if this ambition is purely influenced by somebody else but this has always been in my 2020 goal. Not only it always makes the list but it's always on top. Tbh, I did not have boyfriends leading up to last year, I have crushes so if I concluded that I would marry one of them in 2020 that is purely dumb hahaha. I mean it's funny how I always dream about these stuffs when I know that this is the thing that I cannot achieve by myself lol. Nevertheless, I am hoping that I will be a step close this year with my significant other. But I am still young so let's see if I'm fit for this responsibility lol. Only when I grow up I understand the weight that comes with marriage commitment. Little me wasn't aware *silly*

#2 To gossip less

I was a gossip girl growing up. But far along, I didn't like this personality of mine. However, I was proud of myself for being able to gossip lesser and lesser than before. I am trying to stop eventually. I will still read gossips tho, I just won't tell others haha!

#3 To graduate

Tbh, when I wrote this down in a journal from 2014, I still hadn't completely comprehend the studying path. Where should I go, how long a program is gonna take yadda yadda but I still aim to graduate in 2020. Well, things work out in my favor. February through June will be my last semester and I will graduate yeay! 

#4 Get a job as a programmer (IT industry)

When I planned this resolution, I actually was aiming to be a graphic designer or a web developer. But I changed my pathway in 2016 and got into programmer's lane instead. Nevertheless, I still count it as the same so let's see if I will get a job this year!

#5 Own a car

Seeing my country's economic growth right now, I am not sure if this is achievable especially only after a few months of landing a job. My dream car was Cadillac Escalade and Cadillac Eduardo but let's aim for Proton Waja for now :P

Well, I guess that's all that are on the list for every year starting from 2013 to 2019. I hope for at least 3 of these to achieve because I have been dreaming of them for a decade LOL. 

What are your new year's resolution? 

Thank you for reading this entry :D