sofia ep 1: sofia's first quarter in the world

assalamualaikum

since i have became a mom, i feel like it's important for me to keep as many memories of my daughter. i can only imagine that one day when sofia grows up, she can go on my blog and read up stuffs about when she was little. also, i realized that i'm coming back to work very soon and when i look at sofia, oh my she's grown so much. she's the length of my shoulder to shoulder and she occupies the whole diaper changing table now. she's freaking 3 months old. i feel like, kejap je pejam celik mata dia nanti akan dah boleh meniarap, merangkak, berjalan and bercakap. the time when she's an infant is just so short :')

sofia's first month

in her early days on the earth, dia sangat pendiam. masa majlis akikah dia, dia sgt cooperate, tak merengek, tak menangis kecuali bila dia lapar. god how i wish dia stay a quiet kid yang tak menangis bcs when she cries, the first-time-mother in me terus jammed tak tahu nak buat apa hahaha. it's hard to ignore and ferberize, tapi sometimes bila layan sangat it's tiring. luckily i have hazim yang tak berkira nak take turns console dia bila dia meraung.

sofia's first days. crying bila lapar or nak tukar diaper je hahaha

sofia balik kampung for akikah. behave je all through the majlis.

i have this view of sofia yang i paling suka tengok waktu dia kecil-- i suka tengok dia menggeliat. this is one of the first videos yang i capture masa dia menggeliat in her first month.

video is only available on desktop site. screenshots provided for mobile site :D

masa i discharged from hpj, i remember the nurse pesan utk buat tummy time dgn anak and in case you didn't know, it's safe to do as early as 1 day after birth. tapi i tak ada la buat terus sbb i pun sakit luka bersalin lagi semua. i think i started 3 weeks after giving birth?

kesian anak ibu, muka tak larat hehe. 

i only do tummy time less than 1 min per session before her first month. so apa kesan tummy time ni dkt sofia? it helps her ability to hold up her head. and some knowledge sharing, when you train your baby to do tummy time, it might be easier for them to roll over and merangkak. tapi apa apapun, jangan la force your baby, things take time. so kalau dia ended up lambat juga meniarap or merangkak, jangan marah or frustrated dengan dia. keep helping them to learn okie :D

my baby holding her head up at 2 months :'D

if you haven't heard about it, babies will go through growth spurts multiple time in their early days. so cerita dia, i didn't know about that until it happened. if you ask me what is it exactly, sofia's behaviour started to change. daripada jadi diam je, dia tiba2 kuat menangis. she's screaming bloody murder throughout the night dan dia tak nak kena letak, she wants to be held ALL THE FREAKING TIME. her first growth spurt lasted us around 1 and a half weeks. so apa jadi lepas fasa beralih bulan tu? tiba2 kitorang found out that she's already kicking her legs! oh my how exciting. skrg tugas nak change diaper jadi makin mencabar sebab kaki dia asyik nak menendang hahaha.

it's just small kicks but it makes ibu proud :')

video is only available on desktop site :'(

dia also gain the ability to do big movements sampai bila kena bedung pun dia dah sneakily able to take out her hands hahaha. tidur pun macam macam pesen dah anak ibu ni.

sofia's second month

up until now, i continue buat tummy time for sofia. so entering her second month, we learned that along with the last growth spurt, dia juga dah kenal fungsi tangan dia. so when she's being nursed or just idly laid down, tangan dia akan bergerak2 in the motions of combing her hair, wiping her face mcm tu. 

video is only available on desktop site. screenshots provided for mobile site :D

she's also able to track moving things juga so pretty soon we can play peek-a-boo with her!

video is only available on desktop site. screenshots provided for mobile site :D

then quite nearing her third month, dia mengalami fasa mental leap which is also similar dgn growth spurt. she cries a lot, she didn't want to be put down and she became very fussy. tapi time ni, instead of feeling tired to keep up with her, i rasa sayu sebab i rasa she knew that she gonna have to go to school soon, she's gonna spend half a day away from her parents. oh how i wish i can work while keeping her around :'(

during the mental leap phase, one of her biggest skill gain is the ability to mimic the movement of hazim's and my lips to create sounds. so it's not just merengek rengek, skrg her cries mcm almost sounds like talking. ada bunyi vowels aeiou and ada intonation mcm nak minta ibu cepat2 check diaper or feed her or sometimes dia just menangis tipu2 sebab nak ajak ibu and bapak main.

video is only available on desktop site :'(

after her mental leap phase ni juga dia dah faham orang agah2 dia and dah pandai balas senyuman. oh so glorious the first time we saw she smiled when we joked around with her.

sofia and bapak <3

video is only available on desktop site. screenshots provided for mobile site :D

at this point juga kaki dia dah sangat kuat menendang to the point yang kalau dia excited (or crying), dia punya kaki tu berjaya seret diaper mat jatuh ke lantai hahaha. memang buat modal gelak aje budak kecik ni.

sofia's third month

now she's entering her third month, she's starting school and she's a big girl now. she unlocked some new skills mcm dah pandai menggengam, reaching bapak's beard and ibu's jari to bring to her mouth. dia also dah started to understand textures sebab apparently dia sgt suka main janggut bapak dia hahaha.

our bonding time <3

leaving sofia at school :')

dear sofia, i'll keep documenting your growth here so one day when you come across here, you know how much ibu and bapak love you <3

Thank you for reading this entry :D

welcome baby sofia!

assalamualaikum

my last entry was in august of last year, it was 7 months back. back then, i was still just a wife. eh tiba2 type entry ni as a mother. this post is dedicated to my baby, sofia!

and to think that she's 2 months old now :')

i sebenarnya ada banyak je idea nak buat entry blog, tp my third trimester wasn't easy. i cepat bosan, cepat penat, dan banyak kerja kat office nak kena buat. so i tak menyempat nak update blog. tp god knows how i miss writing up stuffs sbb one day i nak baca buat kenangan, when my mind starts disposing stuffs yang tak perlu diingati hahaha.

so i gave birth to my first child on 29th december of 2022. her due date was supposed to be 4th january of this year tapi dia nak jadi anak bongsu kat kelas dia nanti so dia nak keluar awal hahaha. i pernah share on my instagram before yang i bersalin kat hospital putrajaya, under the full paying patient scheme and i nak review sikit about the service within this post. actually, i hope this sharing will be useful to my readers yang nak bersalin mewah sikit ala2 swasta tapi nak cheap cheap laoo gituuh. 

i rate my experience bersalin dkt hospital putrajaya a solid 9/10. 1 point deducted sbb husband tak boleh teman dekat ward. i booked in july, masa tu i dah 11 weeks kot ek? lupa hahaha. so before i go any further, the fpp scheme ni sebenarnya u bersalin dkt government hospital, tapi your bill tak subsidized means you pay in full for the services. so u akan dapat layanan extra juga la, executive wards, shorter waiting time, and only specialists yang handle your case. in my case, masa i book, only dr hazim was available so i ok jelah. tapi rezeki i masa bersalin, i dapat dr perempuan yg lsambut baby which is dr haliza. i rate service dia 10/10!!! mmg nice to talk to, easygoing, and even aftercare dia sgt concern towards me. 

exclusive behind the scene photo

the hospital was quite far from my home, on a normal day can go up to 1 hour the traveling time. tapi i pilih nak bersalin situ juga because of the good reviews and sbb dia hospital baru. for fpp patients, masa u call to book, diorang akan kasi date for you to come to briefing. my stupid self datang lenggang kangkung je ke briefing tu padahal semua org datang bawa buku pink masing2 tau. so masa i nak book tu i kena pujuk2 sikit nurse dkt kaunter tu cakap nanti i send screenshot semua vitals i dalam buku tu and whatsapp sbb i nak book juga hahaha. so reminder from yours truly, walaupun namanya briefing aja, tapi bawalah sekali buku pink untuk book fpp service ok. no, actually, if you are pregnant, bring your buku pink everywhere. i mean it.

then for fpp patients, bila dah register dia akan set your first appointment. you will have to come for antenatal checkup with your specialists 3 times before your edd. so i pun mcm tu la.

on 25th of december mcm tu, pukul 2am, i rasa a very weird and new pain dkt perut i so i thought i dah nak bersalin. so hazim and i drove through the night ke putrajaya just to know that bukaan i baru 1cm and contraction i tak kerap pun lagi. it was just braxton hicks kata orang. so kitorang balik rumah again, very exhausted nak kerja the next day. walaupun it was just a false alarm, tapi the nurses treated me very well.

ok so on the actual delivery date, i start rasa period pain around 10am mcm tu. awal2 i thought orang ckp contractions ni sakit because we skipped periods for 9 months so maybe kita lupa sakit period pain mcm mana. but as the bukaan gets bigger and bigger, sakit tu amplifies for like 500x woah. mmg sakit gila. i cannot baring, duduk, jalan semua sakit. i remembered when i was warded, i baca semua doa at the top of my head including doa makan, doa naik kenderaan la bagai just to hope that the pain subsides. gila kentang punya sakit. so i opted for epidural. 

so at 10am lebih2 sikit mcm tu, i ajak hazim pergi hpj dah sbb perjalanan 1hr kan so better gerak je bila dah rasa sakit tu. sesampainya i kat PAC, they checked my contractions semua mcm dah ready, they said i kena tunggu sikit sbb ward tgh penuh. so i fikir nak makan lunch dulu. tapi sakit contraction tu mmg sampai tahap i tak boleh nak makan. tp minutes after the ward is ready, they got my husband pay at hasil and i dibawa dgn wheelchair ke ward 5A. i dpt double-bedded room which is fine sbb husband tak boleh teman, at least kalau double-bedded i ada teman.

sorry la sakit sangat so ada gambar dlm ward lepas anak dah lahir je lol

masa i checked in, it was 4:30pm mcm tu, tapi i dah sakit sangat so i minta ubat tahan sakit tapi tak ada. so the nurses keep on checking the bukaan and tiba2 dah 4-5cm mcm tu which means i dah ready nak masuk labor room. so diorang tolak i atas wheelchair again sampai labour room.

i tak tahan sakit, i admit. so i minta epidural. i read the pamphlet and signed my consent, then a specialist was sent to cucuk my epidural. i tak rasa sakit pun cucuk epidural tu sbb sakit contraction lebih daripada what i can handle. the anaesthetist was very professional and calming, dia tolong2 selawat kat telinga i, while also remind i untuk selawat juga, the process was very smooth and easy. nurses yg datang check up on me pun very friendly, i tanya la apa2 pun semua dijawab dgn baik.

let me tell u la kan, if you can't handle the pain, just take the epidural. it doesn't make u less of a mom to want to have an easier delivery process if there is a choice. i lps dpt epidural terus tenang siap boleh tidur sampai i ready nak teran. tapi drawback dia i tak reti teran la so anak kena vacuum. tapi tak apa yang penting ibu dan anak selamat. so on the 29th december 2022, at 11:27pm lahirlah seorang puteri dalam hidup i bernama Sofia <3

i nak review sikit ward and labor room for fpp patients dkt hpj. ward is 9/10. bersih and selesa. makanan ok-ok tapi not bad. i suka sgt ada this sachet chocolate drink sampai balik rumah i order the same brand from shopee and minum sampai skrg. nurses very helpful bila nak ajar i cara nak breastfeed anak. ada tv kalau nak tgk, i tak buka pun tv dia hahaha. dkt ward ada pantry kalau nak air panas ke apa so very convenient. cuma husband tak boleh teman je even single-bedded room pun. 

labor room also very selesa. i seorang je dlm labour room tu. husband boleh teman dari i 7cm sampai deliver. nurses dkt labor room pun sgt helpful jawab soalan and assist i dekat mana2. also 10/10. i mula2 plan nak makeup cantik2 mcm che ta masa masuk labor room tapi entahlah noks, muka ghupa gini je akhirnya sbb sakit nakmampos tangan bergetar tak ada makna nak fikir makeup.

i nak remind juga yg hpj is hospital rakan bayi so they really encourage you to breastfeed so elakkan bawa botol susu. i tak kena check pun tapi yeah, just a reminder. 

the discharge process pun smooth je, they will ask you to complete a survey of hpj, husband pergi hasil bayar bill after the ward keluarkan discharge letter. lps dah bayar, show the letter dkt ward counter then boleh balik dah. i alhamdulillah, sofia kuning tak lama, 1 malam je dkt ward sendiri2. sofia ada kena duduk bawah lampu sekejap tp boleh discharge as scheduled. 

sofia was crying so much bila duduk dalam cot under the light. bila i peluk dia baru dia tenang. serious sebak and sayu masa ni :')

the day hazim became a father :')

just to share, here is my bill for delivery at hpj as fpp patient. for me, it's affordable for the service and the comfort. for me yang untuk first time bersalin and nak experience something yang comfortable, i would recommend fpp at hpj ni for parents yang mungkin cannot afford to go full private mcm i hehehe. insyaAllah kalau ada rezeki anak2 seterusnya kita usaha private pula utk experience.

p/s: on the day you warded to, u put rm3k deposit so u bayar remaining ikut kalau u vacuum ke ambil epidural ke apa mcm tu.

Thank you for reading this entry :D

menyampahnya tengok abu post gambar kereta baru dia --'

assalamualaikum

i've been using social media since 2010 and it was facebook. back then, it's just another medium to chat with some friends, share some pictures mcm tu. i also thought that social media was an amazing invention especially to connect our friends and families that are far from us. imagine having a cousin yang kita dah lama tak jumpa, then kita dapat tengok dia pergi disneyland. pastu kita pun boleh tegur tegur dia dkt facebook/twitter/instagram, minta belikan souvenir and whatnot. terus kita bercakap balik dgn each other.

tapi lately people have been using "freedom of speech" untuk gunakan social media untuk justify kejadian pointing fingers ke orang sana sini. kita spend time untuk tulis status just to condemn people atas alasan "it's just my opinion". yang tak best tu, there are people yg buat status, condemning people's freaking personal life. i mean, i dah move on dgn twitter debates about sensitive issues related to org komen2 agama i, or fights about women's right -- do what u want with these big topics. tapi yang i tak faham yang suka diss diss personal life orang lain??? 

mcm ni kan, badrol ada personal instagram then jenab sibuk nak diss on badrol's sharing padahal itu adalah account individual dia. 

it got me thinking, does the use of social media makes us compare our lives with each other? and bila kita rasa tak puas, we use our accounts to bash the person who makes us feel insecure? if you say yes, then it saddens me how a display can create an image in your head that your life is based on a bar set by another individual.

kita semua kena faham yang kita semua manusia, dan kita ada nafsu untuk menunjuk nunjuk kejayaan, kegembiraan dan kemampuan kita. jenab benci badrol post pasal kemampuan dia pergi disneyland, esok lusa jenab post pasal dia beli barang kemas. kita memang ada keinginan untuk tunjukkan pada dunia apa yang kita ada and that's okay (ini belum bahas in islamic standpoint ye, tak sentuh pasal riak takbur semua tu). kalau A keluar dating dgn boyfriend pi makan pasembor pun dia post story sebab happy, kalau si B yang berjaya beli iPhone latest, mesti dia share juga. 

for me, being insecure is unhealthy sbb dia tak stop setakat kita dissing this person dkt profile kita je. kita akan ada tendency untuk mengumpat si fulan ni dkt orang lain, dan dalam hati kita akan terdetik untuk cakap benda benda yang tak sepatutnya, 

"ah badrol ni boleh pergi disneyland sbb bapak dia kerja kerajaan, mesti makan rasuah punyeee"

or 

"ah badrol ni mesti pinjam ah long. menunjuk kejap je ni, satgi diam la sbb duit dah habis"

or worse... 

"badrol ni sedap sangat menunjuk ni. esok lusa kena scam 10k baru tahu langit tinggi ke rendah"

sampai hati tu rasa salah nak terdoa benda bukan bukan dekat orang. that's not it.

believe me when i say yang i found people yg comment benda2 tak patut on benda2 indah kurniaan tuhan, memang mengucap panjang bila baca. ada org cakap "zubaidah ni duk share gambar anak anak dia, esok lusa cacat kang baru tahu tak tunjuk" or "munirah ni duk share gambar pregnant, gugur baru tahu". can you imagine, ada orang dibelakang keypad yang actually typing these things tau. *geleng kepala*.

i love seeing my friends sharing the whereabouts of their lives on social media. awal awal i also terlibat dalam penyakit dengki, tapi lama lama it's eating me inside out sampai rasa tak nak buka instagram sebab geram sendiri. now i'm robbing myself the pleasure of using social media. but i dont wanna dwell in the past so that's that.

now i sendiri jarang post stuffs on social media sebab i'm way too occupied with my day to day work and also my life is so full of interesting stuff to the point yang i live too much in the moment. also, even if i tangkap gambar interesting thing yang happen today, esok ada benda interesting lagi berlaku so bila nak post, semua tu dah basi, no point haha.

see what i did there? if you have the tendency untuk rasa "tak best" bila tengok orang lain punya story, cuba hype yourself more. make yourself believe yang you have everything you need to feel happy and content. barulah boleh make peace dengan apa yang orang lain share. be open to be happy with what other people shares. you tak realize how much you have only because you believe yang other people have more than you. that's the problem. let me offer you a solution:-

stop feeling bad when u see someone else doing more that you because in actuality, they are not doing or getting more, that's just apa yang tuhan cakap rezeki dia masa tu. dia tak mungkin ada semua yang you ada, dan you tak mungkin ada semua yang dia ada. semua ada secukupnya apa yang patut ada. percaya ni je, dan akan rasa cukup, tak ada kurang. mendengki only sakitkan diri kita, sebab dia kat sana tgh enjoy apa yang dia dapat, mestilah dia happy, kita yang sakit sendiri. focus on what you have. look to your right and be thankful that you have a job yang u happy doing. look to your left and be thankful yang you ada bestfriends yang suka belanja you makan. 

orang akan sentiasa share what makes them happy. sedangkan kalau dia depress atau ada masalah dunia pun dia share, apatah lagi bila dia tengah bahagia. kita tak boleh control apa yang orang share. kalau sakit hati sangat, sila mute jelah member tu ye.

Thank you for reading this entry :D